ALF's Imperial Army

Defenders of Her Majesty's Imperial Honour

ALF's Imperial Army stands for all that is British and silly. It is divided into regiments and companies based in particular cities and towns - the Canterbury Light Infantry, the NO HOPERs, the Waikato Dragoons, the New Edinburgh Fencibles (formerly the Waitati Militia) in Dunedin, and others, from Auckland to Invercargill. Some regiments fall and fade; others bravely take their place.

Its brave men and women carry out of their own free will those missions which Her Majesty the Queen would not dare ask the Empire's citizens to undertake for her honour alone. ALF's Imperial Army struggles to safeguard proper Victorian standards of propriety and cumbersomeness in dress, architecture, technologies, and entertainments. Its members dress in the 1880s-style redcoat uniform which they quite rightly believe to be the epitome of style. They keep themselves in readiness to respond to anything that might be taken as an excuse to be offended on behalf of the Queen, her family (or at least those presently in favour), and the sacred institutions of the British culture and state such as corgis, morris dancing and weak chins. They challenge those responsible to battle unless grovelling apologies are offered. To their great pleasure, this almost never happens.

If you dare to step out from the crowd and declare your challenge against the heavy guiding hand of Britannic civilisation, or to assist in bringing the sword of ALF to evildoers everywhere, then contact us.

ALF's Imperial are constantly on the lookout for more enemies to vanquish. Indeed they welcome new opportunities to save Her Majesty's subjects from bodily or moral harm and to test the firmness of their moral beliefs and military discipline against a decadent un-British foe.

Image copyright © Phil Anderson 2003

(The Greens and The Cthulhu Cultists are just two of the groups that have incurred the wrath of ALF by refusing to repent of their insolence. Others include the McGillicuddy Highland Army, the Labour Party (youth wing), a Spanish Armada, the Alexandra Zulus, Mt. Aspiring Highlanders, the Czar's Army of the South, the Ben Ohau Republican Army Auxiliaries, the Maruia Muckslinging Militia, various gaggles of schoolchildren, KAOS, Celts and many, many volunteer fire departments.)